♚The final task

Defenseless I fall on my knees..fighting so hard to defy gravity that keeps pulling me down with all its strength; trying to weaken me till I drop; till I meet the floor..
It's funny how someone can so easily beat gravity or be beaten by it in a heartbeat.

1)Thoughts:
So many mistakes..emotions that block my logic, thoughts that devour my every living moment and a pain so deep that paralyzes my every move. And all this..keeping me locked in a place filled with an overwhelming sense of dread or impending doom and horror, making my heart pound so fast.

2)The beginning:
My mind is on overdrive..and I suddenly start feeling disconnected from my body; time passes so fast yet I am standing still, feeling unstable in a yet stable environment.
Trying to snap out of it you start to move..scratching the walls around you; and that's when you meet nausea , chest pain , dizziness , uncontrollable trembling , rapid breathing and a tingling sensation of the arms, hands, fingertips, feet and face.

3)Surviving:
Trying to survive it you close your eyes and silence is your only companion through this..
Hearing voices and questions that you just can't answer; your voice is stolen; feeling helpless , chocking on your own saliva you try to stay awake just to face an upcoming paranoia.

4)Living/facing it:
Self control is lost. Muscle aches and pains. Facing the fear of death for no one knows how long..

5)The end:
You suddenly feel a giant hand piercing your chest, reaping out those feelings one by one till all is left is exhaustion and weakness..
You open your eyes facing a blurred vision that proves you are still alive; you are still there;
Trying to figure out if yourself and your soul are intact you face the fact that one tiny part is destroyed.

Is it worth it? Even if I keep surviving these attacks will I lose all thats left of me eventually?

I'm a survivor of my own tests.My final task is here though..finally.
I will put an end to everything. I will decide, I will face, I will end, I will start, I will change, I will forget, I will cry, I will fight my inner demons and I will claim back my peace of mind.
By the end of this week I will have either revived my lost life or died to resurrect and face a new beginning.

Zero/Negative